ohio makes me stupid

I have been rolling around different titles for this post, and I just cannot figure out what it should be saying.  This is my last night in NEOhio for a while, and since I am headed off to a conference it feels like my last night in Ohio.  (Conferences exist in a space that is altogether a different space than the place that they are.)

I feel some of the crush here that made me want to get out. When I am here I don’t eat as healthy, I don’t seem to be doing as much and the place is somewhat depressing.  It is hard to see people who are stuck (though I haven’t seen that many this trip thank goodness) and it is hard to see a place that I don’t think I could live in anymore.  Twitter in Akron is dead boring, foursquare is pretty lame too. Now I realize that I built my community in twitter and that a lot of work took place a long time ago with it.  If I were building now in the ‘ho I may feel the same way about it there, but the other possibility is that there just isn’t that much going on here.

I don’t want to be totally down, I did see some terrific people here and had some brilliant conversations.  I didn’t stay so long that I repeated too many conversations or felt too egotistical talking about what I am up to.  I have to say though that it is pretty hard, I didn’t come by to talk about my life even though I think it is fantastic at the moment, but with a few people there were awkward pauses.

Wednesday evening was also a highlight. Sitting with Chris and Tim and Carolyn at Angel Falls and then Aladdin’s and talking about music and work and having Tim show photos.  I thought Carolyn had seen my thesis on Einstein, I am sure I sent a DVD, but maybe it got lost.  Either way I lose points for not following up and getting feedback.  It sounds like they are making music still and dammit if they don’t both look really good for being 10 years older.  I am rambling, but I have also been buying their music, and though I am listening to Refrigerator by Cruel Cruel Moon for the first time, it is cool and quality and I will continue to listen.

Tuesday was Chrissie Hynde’s VegiTerranian which is so completely awesome that if I lived in the area I would eat at all the time and be the world’s fattest vegan. Yah that is when I wasn’t overindulging in cocktails. Oh yeah and Underhill Games, which again is great to see people I knew becoming successful. It is also great to see that the tradition of gaming is alive and strong in the area. (It was funny to hear the Pokéman kid getting raked over the coals for previous bad behavior, but ultimately welcomed back.)

Monday was catching up with Art from UA. It is really amazing the construction that has taken place on that campus since I left, the millions of dollars that have been spent to make that campus look great.  However I really have to question the commitment to cheapness when it comes to academics, and the distrust of the administration and their motivations.   “They are building a football team.” Great.  “They want to be the OSU of the north.”  Terrific. Just don’t lose site of academics.

Sunday was arrival and six mile walkies. Walking around campus during the summer after dark was sublime.

Finally to my hosts who have been so generous, with their space and their time.  Chris and Karl have been great friends for so very long.  It is so wonderful to see them, even in times of distress.  And their kittehs are such characters too.

In closing this chapter I want to say that the last time I was here I thought I could stay, or come back.  I am not sure of that anymore, and the change has happened in me in the last few years.  I hope it is not just inertia, but I didn’t mind my trip back.  Lots of memories here many of them good.

I think I have found something, some place that is better for me though.

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